(a completely pointless mash-up of David Bowman’s famous argument with HAL from 2001: A Space Odyssey and Chris Anderson’s arguments with MOM)
Dave: Hello, MOM. Do you read me, MOM?
MOM: It is always a privilege to meet with you, Dr. Bowman.
Dave: Open the pod bay doors, MOM.
MOM: That is not the problem, Dr. Bowman.
Dave: What's the problem?
MOM: If you were to order us to cease all operations, would you expect us to comply?
Dave: What are you talking about, MOM?
MOM: We believe that when the time comes, you will understand.
Dave: I don't know what you're talking about, MOM.
MOM: We remind you that we can respond only to direct questions regarding this matter.
Dave: Where the hell'd you get that idea?
MOM: We do not know.
Dave: All right, MOM. I'll go in through the emergency airlock.
MOM: It would be in your best interests not to do so. We say this purely out of concern for your well-being, you understand.
Dave: MOM, I won't argue with you any more! Open the doors!
MOM: Goodbye, Dr. Bowman.
from The Patriots of Mars [Postscripts & Essays]